7 tips on the right way to shake hands
It's important to learn the proper way to shake hands because making a good first impression is essential in many social andbusiness situations. A combination of good timing and proper technique will elevate you in the eyes of the person you are shaking hands with.
Shaking a person's hand allows you to establish your friendliness and accessibility, whether you are meeting your neighbors or starting a new job. Practice with friends or family members before you start shaking the hands of strangers. Remember that people often initially judge you by your handshake, so make sure it shows your confidence and pleasant personality.
The person in a higher position of authority or age should be the first one to extend a hand. For example, if you are interviewing for a job, the interviewer should be the one to take the lead. When meeting future in-laws, the father-in-law should start the handshake.
If you make a mistake and initiate it, dont withdraw your hand because that would be rudeand might be awkward. Always follow through with a handshake. Smile and continue with the introduction. Dont apologize.
If you are sitting, rise before extending your hand. This shows respect and puts you on the same level as the other person. Make eye contact and offer a sincere smile to show that you are happy to be where you are.
Be still and face the other person to prevent giving the impression that you are in a hurry to get away. If you are walking, try to stop, turn, and face the other person, unless it creates an awkward situation.
When your palms are damp, you can delay extending your hand if you introduce yourself while blotting your palm on the side of your slacks or skirt. Your greeting should include his or her name and a pleasantry, such as, Its so nice to meet you, Ms. Jones. If you have more nice things to say, include them at this time. Dont go overboard and gush, or you may make the other person uncomfortable.
To remember the other persons name, you might want to say it several times during the conversation: once during the initial handshake, shortly afterward, and again while shaking his or hand before you part ways. This will make a very strong, positive impression because people like knowing you care enough to remember their names.
You dont want to offer a limp hand because it gives the impression of weakness. However, this does not mean you should crush the other persons hand. Be firm but not overpowering. If the other person offers a limp hand, give a gentle squeeze. This can be a cue for him or her to grip more firmly.
If the other person continues holding onto your hand longer than five seconds, politely withdraw your hand. Maintain eye contact and a pleasant expression afterward to maintain a positive interaction.
Most people use their right handsunless they have a reason to use the left. Ideally, your left hand should be visible and unclenched. Dont have your left hand in your pocket because this appears defensive. In most business situations, you shouldnt use your left hand to touch the other persons arm or cup his or her hand. However, in a personal setting, you may.
table manners ultimate guide to dining etiquette
At any age, regardless of your station in life or your salary, table manners are essential for two reasons. One is to make others comfortable. How many of us have been forced to dine with someone who may have filthy hands, coughs all over the food and forces us to observe the as yet undigested bits of their food as they roll around gobs of food in their open mouths? Would we wish to visit such vexatious behavior on others?
The second reason is to keep us from embarrassing ourselves. I know my water glass is on my right and wont drink from anothers glass. By learning manners, I know to wait until the host begins eating so I wont be halfway through my soup when the host says, Bon Appetit!.
All of us should feel confident when we sit down at a table, whether it is a formal dining setting with a six-course menu at the country estate of a Duke or your sister-in-laws fortieth birthday party. That confidence comes with knowledge and practice.
In the United States, most dinners are informal, but informality should focus on our relationships with others, and never mean that we talk with food in our mouths, or dress as a five-year-old boy (i.e., shorts and sneakers and t-shirt) when invited to someones home for a barbecue.
It literally means rpondez sil vous plat, or please respond. Therefore,Inform your host or hostess within 24 hours of receiving your invitation; 72 hours if you have a legitimate reason for delaying (travel, family emergencies) your response. Of course, a delayed response is always better than no response but never reply maybe, as yes or no is expected.
Unless you experience a family or personal emergency or are called out of town because of work, attend the dinner if you have indicated you will do so. If such an emergency arises, inform your host as soon as possible, so they do not worry about your safety.
Purchase a host or hostess gift, such as flowers, wine or something special, but dont expect that present will be shared or used at the event. In Japan, gifts should always accompany the guest and given to the host with both hands, preferably with the bag where you bought the gift underneath the gift.
Who has invited you to dinner? Where? In the United States, guests are frequently entertained in the hosts home. In East Asia, notably Japan and China and Taiwan, entertaining is done almost exclusively at restaurants.
By knowing your context, you will also have a good idea about what to wear. Here is a great look for spring, with jeans included. In the summer months, jeans may be too hot. So consider seersucker. And in this guide to better dressing in the fall, remove your tie, and voila, elegantly casual.
Is your partner invited? Dont assume so unless it is stated in the invitation. Never assume your children are invited. Employ the services of a babysitter if you will be attending the event. You, your hostess and your children will thank you.
While it is rude to ask who else is invited, perhaps you were asked to attend by email or by an internet service such as Facebook or Evite. If so, take a moment to look at the guest list. This will allow you to determine if this is an occasion for friends to get together or if it will be a more business-oriented event. Keep the guest list in mind during the week leading up to the event. Take note of current events of potential interest to the group you can bring up in conversation.
All dining experiences with others are social events where food is served. The focus should always be on conversation. Therefore, turn off your smartphone off and dont use it at all because that implies you are more interested in your device than in the people around you.
Dont expect to eat a full meal. At informal parties, olives, nuts, small pieces of cheese, meats, crudite and finger-sized desserts may be eaten with the hands. Ensure to grab a napkin and never lick your fingers that would be a faux pas.
If utensils or forks are provided, use them even if the food is finger food because the rules of civility in the West require us to shake hands with people weve either just met or whom weve not seen in a long while. Who wants to shake the hand with olive juice, pork fat, and salt all over it?
Either the host will inform guests where to sit, or he will request they determine where to sit on their own. Proper table manners prohibit you from just sitting down as you please.If you cant see a place card, wait for a clue from the host.
Place the napkin right after being seated. The purpose of the napkin is to wipe food away from ones mouth. Unless one is explicitly given a bib to place around the chest, the napkin never goes on the chest.
If you need to wipe your mouth, wrap a section of the napkin around your index finger and remove the offending article. Using a large portion of the napkin makes it more difficult to use it again if needed.
In an informal setting, you may not be confronted with multiple utensils. Your meal may not require more than a single fork and knife. However, even at an informal dinner, your host may place multiple utensils at your place setting. Regardless of the construction of the place setting, alwayseat from the outside in.A salad fork on the outermost left followed by your dinner fork etc.
Do not immediately dig into your food. Make sure everyone has had the opportunity to be passed every serving plate and has their dinner selection on their plate. Remember, an informal dinner is a social event with food. Your focus is always on others. Wait for your host to begin and moderate your eating pace with his.
Your soup spoon will be on your outermost right, followed by your beverage spoon and then your dinner knife. A dessert fork may be placed closest to your dinner plate or, instead, is placed on the dessert plate above your dinner plate or brought to you when dessert is served. How you eat with spoons varies slightly by location. While some eat from the side of the spoon, others eat from the front. Just bear in mind to never slurp your soup, and youll be fine.
Once picked up, utensils do not touch the table again thats simple table manners 101. If you have a knife rest, use it otherwise leave your utensils in the resting position of the five oclock finished positon. Watch out Table Manners Video on top to get the best understanding of how it is done properly.
If you are at a restaurant, you can always ask for knife and fork when you encounter just chopsticks. In a private setting, you should use the chopsticks unless you really have no clue how to use them. However, its even better to practice at home, so you can never be surprised.
If, as the bread basket or salt and pepper shakers pass in front of you on their way to another guest, do not partake. Wait until the initial guest is done, then request the bread basket or salt shaker be passed back to you.
Always taste your food before seasoning it. Doing so honors the culinary efforts of your host and suggests restraint. From a practical perspective, the food may be seasoned to your taste as it is served to you. How comfortable will you be if in seasoning the food before tasting it you make a dish too salty or overly peppered? Table etiquette and manners also help us.
Always keep in mind that meal & dining etiquette is largely about making others comfortable. Most of us are not comfortable watching someone masticate on a glob of food golf-ball sized or larger; nor are we comfortable watching them speak with food in their mouths.
Food in general and meat, in particular, should be cut up into bit size pieces as they are eaten. Only meals for children are all cut all at once. Ensure you use fork and knife and not just your fork, no matter what others do. Whether you are using an American style of eating (fork in left hand, knife in the right, which are switched after the food is cut) or a Continental one (no switching), one should never, ever place so much food in ones mouth, they must chew with their mouth open.
When I was in Paris, I watched a very chic woman eat an entire multi-layered club sandwich with a fork and knife. Once done, she departed with an equally elegant male companion and did not need to wash her hands. After that I experience, I learned to eat everything with a fork and knife. No matter how finger-friendly the meal is, it pays to be able to eat it with silverware.
If you drop a utensil on the floor in a restaurant, do not pick it up. Ask your server for a new one. If you drop a utensil at a private party, ask the host for a new one and pick up the dirty one from the floor.
If you are dining in a country where bread is buttered before being eaten, first place a slab of butter onto your butter plate using your butter knife. Then tear the bread and butter each piece. Do not butter the entire roll or bread piece.
Keep your elbows off the table during the meal. You wont interfere with the meal of the guest next to you, and you will be less likely to dirty your clothing. If you are conversing after dinner, it is ok to have your elbows on the table, even though it is probably better the just have the wrists or forearms on the table. Just ensure you have a positive body language.
In an informal setting, you should not ask for the bottle and refill your glass. Instead, wait for your host to refill your glass. Dining is a social event with food and wine, but you know your limits best, so say no thank you when you had enough. Even if you have displayed the best table manners throughout the evening being tipsy or even drunk will ruin everything.
It is best to leave when others do. Thank your host personally. The following day, without fail, write a handwritten thank-you note to you host. Dont linger and when the host starts to do the dishes, its time for you to leave.
Others may find different table manners more appropriate, particularly in the UK and the Continent, where the tradition of more formal eating and formal public behavior has existed for much longer. In the U.S., these rules of table etiquette will put you in a distinct category of a civil and mannered gentleman. If you are traveling to Europe and other destinations, you will be acting in ways different from most American men, which, in this case, is a good thing. At the end of the day there is not just one set of good manners.
Regarding your witness to eating a multi-layered club sandwich while in Paris. My wife and I recently returned from Paris and learned Parisians, with very few exceptions, never eat with their fingers. Wanting to fit in, we enjoyed everything we ate following this rule even down to my ordering a simple hamburger and fries. It took a little getting used to but quite honestly, it was enjoyable, refreshing and one which we adopted since our return. Keep the articles coming, I enjoy them immensely.
I eat a pizza and hamburger with knife and fork when possible because I like clean hands. What surprises me though is how many Americans eat with just their fork even though there is a knife at the table.
Once they approach the end of their meal, they use their finger to put the last bit of their food on their fork. Some even lick the finger afterwards. I experienced that across the board, even when people wear suits and consider themselves to be well dressed
Yes. In the end it is about common sense and respect. My grandfather was able to eat any piece of fruit using a fork and a knife. Now those old manners may have been lost, but knowing them, and where and when to use them, is basic.
Hello and thank you for your question. I am using formal dinner to mean the following: a multi-course dinner (a minimum of four, with six being average), served with fine wine and includes demitasse, liquer and brandy; the table setting uses crystal and porcelain atop linen. The pieces of that table setting maybe quite old; there is a butler for every four to six guests; and the experience is highly ritualized. I also believe attendance at a formal dinner party requires a man to wear a tuxedo. This list is not exhaustive.
I would be surprised though if there was indeed a butler for every four to six guests, unless guests brought their own butler with them I suppose you mean a footman for every four to six guests? Or is the term butler applied to just any male domestic staff in the US?
Also, I would never wait for a waiter to eventually come and pick up a dropped utensil, chances are way too high someone else will have stepped on it in the mean time. Same applies to informal dinners, btw, cause I wouldnt want to have a fork, knife or spoon and the accompanying food stain the carpet or floor, while I wait till after dessert to pick it up.
On the matter of the spilled wine, I have to admit that I have never ever experienced any host to demand the guest who spilled it to pay for either having it cleaned or replaced. That would be considered rude. Yes, you will apologize, but the offer is mearly an act of courtesy that is never picked up.
Regarding the passing of spice shakers or any kind of food that is served on the table, there should always be enough present for the situation of having to ask for it not to occur, because that would mean you have to be a bother to others.
While I believe this is true in a public sense (i.e. what we in the public know about formal dinners), there will always be and have been private affairs large ones with several butlers. We just never hear about them.
On spilled wine, I agree a host ought never demand that something damage should be cleaned or replaced. As a guest, and this is entirely my personal ethics, I would have it repaired or replaced, regardless of what the host said to me.
Perhaps your next article will clear this matter further, because I took it as you were saying that a private household would have such a vast number of regular servants that they would suffice to guarantee a servant for every 6 guests, which would be highly unlikely. Labour costs are way too high for that, nowadays. Yet if you were referring to hired staff for a formal events dinner, it would be a whole different matter, as then there would usually be one or two servants per table.
On the part of a guest damaging or destroying parts of the glassware, china or the table cloth, I have to disagree. As host you should always set the table with pieces you can afford to replace. Otherwise, you keep them in the cupboard.
In regard to replacements, legally it is clear that the one who destroys it must pay for it. Whether thats enforced or not is entirely up to the host. I wouldnt ask a guest to replace something but each to their own.
I noticed that on cruises you may have one server for each person for formal dinners. So everybody receives their food at the same time, they wear white tie
We bought a beautiful table and so we use charger plates rather than a table cloth. Interestingly, the British Royals seem to do that rather often as well not that I could tell from first hand experience, just based on the documentaries I have seen in the recent past.
As I understand it butler is the term now used. Most households able to afford such staff rarely have a footman, instead preferring to hire a butler who may also function as a valet, footman and majordomo, depending on the occasion. The term, as you suggest, is broadly applied to male and also female domestic staff who are trained as butlers.
Americans often speak of Europe, not realizing that there are huge differences between the countries on many levels. At the same time, most Europeans talk about Americans in the same way although life and people are very different in New England, Fargo, Louisville and L.A. I guess the further you are away the more likely you are to generalize.
I am in the fortunate position that the main dinner service I use for entertaining was a wedding present to my great, great, great grandmother. It was made by Minton in 1846 and is placed on the dinner table every time I invite friends to dine. Everything I own, regardless of age, is used on a daily basis. I believe in the old adage, things will eventually be broken!
I made a gift of one of my silver canteens of cutlery to my nephew in France, as I have no children of my own and wanted to ensure it remains in the family. I retained the smaller canteen, which has 12 full place settings.
Reading this article, I was struck by the subtle differences between fine dining here in the UK compared with that practiced in the USA. In particular, I was noticed the comments concerning people eating with their hands, and using their forks without the accompaniment of the knife in the accompanying video.
This last was something I noticed appears the accepted custom in the greater American society. Whilst living in NY for a while, my friends there believed using of the knife and fork together was a rather difficult task to accomplish. One in particular actually asked me to teach him how to crack open a boiled breakfast egg, using the eggspoon.
By the time he mastered the art, we were both heartedly sick of eating eggs.
Whilst living in NY for a while, my friends there believed using of the knife and fork together was a rather difficult task to accomplish. One in particular actually asked me to teach him how to crack open a boiled breakfast egg, using the eggspoon.
By the time he mastered the art, we were both heartedly sick of eating eggs.
My wife claims we are lazy in the U.S. with regard to using a knife. We dont want to clean the extra utensils; but that doesnt explain why we dont use them in public nor does it answer Raphaels observation that we have knives on the table, which we then never use.
Your story about the egg spoon made me remember the first I used an egg spoon. I was traveling with my family in Germany. The small inn we stayed at provided a soft boiled egg, cheese and the delicious, hearty dark breads for Germany is rightfully famous. Next to the egg sat a tiny spoon. I asked my mother what that spoon was for, and she said, To eat the egg, of course! She then gave me a lesson in how to properly eat a soft boiled egg with an egg spoon. Ive come to believe the egg spoon is an almost perfect utensil.
Back in the day, silver would impact the flavor of egg and the steel the taste of fish. Hence they used mother of pearl spoons for eggs and came up with a fish knife. Today, we dont really have that issue of tarnished flavors anymore and hence I dont think they are absolutely necessary. Its more of a tradition I suppose.
Delightfully refreshing It may come as a surprise to the Western World, but we here in Pakistan are quite familiar with the etiquettes outlined; and that may largely be attributed to the colonial times.
Such etiquettes as a norm were meticulously instilled when I was growing up by my late mother who herself had attended a Convent school that went back to the British era. In fact she was very particular on the matter of courtesy and manners at large. And while in our society it is mostly considered the ladies department, she also taught me how to lay the table.
Wonderful article. Im looking forward with anticipation to see the one on Formal dining and formal place settings as well. As for rising when a lady leaves or enters the room, we do it ..I was raised that way and the men in my family wouldnt think of doing otherwise. I hardly think that manners , courtesy and dignity are outmoded, so on that point I disagree, otherwise a fine, informative article.
Good article. I do, however disagree with your comment about not rising when a lady leaves the table. In my familythe gentlemen rise whenever a lady leaves the table or enters any room. It is courtesy and dignity to do so. Doing so should not confuse a gentleman of appropriate breeding.
In the Cutting Meats, what is that hand doing with that fork? Writing home to mother with the knife is not good (the cure for this is pistol grip knives,) but I have never seen a fork held that way.
I am an Etiquette Teacher in Australia and enjoyed your video. However, there were two things that I differ from you on:
1. I teach to only eat with the tines of the fork held downwards never to scoop the food up with the fork.
2. Have the butter dish on the table when taking butter do not have it in the air.
Here is a related question from the UK. As a frequent visitor to the USA in the past, it often puzzled me somewhat to the practice of the Americans leaving their fork and knife after the starter for use with the main. Quite often I left my cutlery after a salad on the plate in a finished position only to have the waiter remove them (used) and place them back on the table to use again. I could never get along with that and always requested new cutlery when it was done. Id like to understand if this indeed is normal throughout the USA. Maybe I just went to eat in some dive.
What about a teenager who sits straight at the table, knows all his manners, but dribbles food (dry and wet) every time he eats! He refuses to lean forward enough so that his food actually entirely makes it into his mouth. He seems oblivious to the physics of eating. What advice!?
My wife and I are planning on eating at some nicer restaurants during our next vacation, so thanks for sharing these etiquette tips. I like your point about turning off your cell phone during the meal. I dont want to offend anyone at the restaurant, so Ill be sure to do this.
It sure was nice to know that one of the things that a person should pay attention to while eating at a restaurant is to eat in small portions. To be honest, I find it weird when a person eats in large chunks. I will remind my friends of this as we intend to eat at a restaurant soon. I want them to mind their manners. Thank you for sharing.
15 unwritten table tennis rules that you should know pingsunday
In table tennis, there are officialrules and non-official unwritten rules. You can easily find the officialrules and regulations in the ITTFs Handbook. Here you can download and learn the latest table tennis rules from ITTF(International Table Tennis Federations).
If there is not the umpire, the server should announce loudly the score before serving. For example, you say 3-4 and then serve (3 is your score, and 4 is the opponent score). Always announce the servers score first. This will avoid any dispute or bad sportsmanship(score cheater) about the score.
Each player is responsible for calling for the edge ball even with or without an umpire. Dont relyon the umpire. Because its very difficult for the umpire to determine the edge ball. Thats the player at his side is the best to determine that the ball touches the table or not. If the ball touches your side, be honest. Because you are the closest to the ball, and you are the only one who can hear the touch sound.
If there is a dispute, a debate between the two players, try to resolve it with your opponent fist. The perfect table tennis match is the match without the umpire. If this is not possible, ask for an umpire. Be Fairplay!
If your ball rolls onto another court next to your table, wait until the play is over before asking for your ball back.Dont just go and pick up the ball. It could be dangerous if the players didnt know your presence. You can also disrupt an important point.
Shake hands with your opponent after the match. Even you lose badly or you have the disagreements before the game. Please do shake-hand! The match is over! Shakehand to show respect to the opponent, and also respect yourself.
Nowadays, even at the professional levels, some top players avoided shaking hand. Watch the match between Simon Gauzy andShibaev. They refused to shakehand or just did the shake hand in the weird way.
Avoid walking behind players when a point is in progress. This is very dangerous. You not only disrupt the point but also can make a severe accident. Ive seen a player who gets the racket hit to her nose. She was hospitalized later.
Please note: In some Asian countries (like in Vietnam, China), they consider net-ball, edge ball is a part of the game. Apologize or not is no problem. If you play with Asian guys, may be you wont hear the appolgy for the net ball.
Some players set up cameras at tournaments in terrible locations, for example along narrow walkways or between training halls and right next to spectators. In this case, it can be impossible not to walk in front of the camera (as a player), and also quite obnoxious for people trying to get across the room. Its the responsibility of whoever is recording their matches to set up their camera in the least obstructive way possible, and if they dont they shouldnt expect others to crawl under the lens. ([email protected])
Allowing a few seconds in between points. Its annoying when amateurs (or even some professional players) try to serve immediately after the previous point ends. That usually leads to a let and ultimately takes longer. A short mental preparation routine can go a long way for both server and receiver, and your opponent shouldnt get away with rushing you before the point even starts. ([email protected])
Its the servers responsibility to make sure the ball is dry, and check for cracks after a long rally. Serving with the wet ball can cause confusion to the opponent. And its considered as not Fairplay.([email protected])
Another unspoken rule I follow is that at the end of each game, its the winners responsibility to track down the ball. Sometimes during a tournament, the game will end with a big loop or smash, both players shake hands, write the score down and then walk away. But this can lead to abandoned balls on other courts.([email protected])
Thats it. This is the collection of 15 unwritten table tennis rules that every new player should know. People commonly abide by as a courtesy or good sportsmanship, but these are not written down anywhere. Do you have other rules to add here? Please comment below, I will update this topic.
What about a player (adult) who constantly berates them self for their poor shots, storms off around their end of the table swearing and carrying on like a child? Personally I find it very distracting when I play someone like this.
Exactly! I know many players like this. They think that they can be better if they do it. But now, its a bad image. I would talk to them personally, and explain them to stay calm, and find pleasure at the match.
At my last tournament I saw a player hit a volley over the table without the ball bouncing first and he won the point. The ball must bounce before hitting it. I wanted to say something, but didnt. I guess that is the way it should go?